Fear of First Time

Posted: July 13, 2011 in Experience, Toastmasters
Tags: , , ,

It was a colorful Sunday evening and as usual the atmosphere in the park nearby my home was filled with enthusiasm, energy and enjoyment. It was a hub of activity similar to the Heathrow airport – children playing, parents running behind keeping pace with them, young and old people watching on as they were going about their walking and jogging exercises and few other onlookers like me who came to do ‘the’ one thing – relax!

I pushed myself in one corner of the park as my mind started wandering around the serene atmosphere. My eyes was capturing each and every image haphazardly until it came to a standstill looking at one little girl who was trying to climb the slide. For every step she took in the slide, she would throw a cautionary look towards her mother and her mother would return an assuring response.  This caution-assurance activity was happening for quite some time and I understood that this was the first time the child was climbing the slide. My curiosity reached sky high in waiting for this child to finish her slide ride. It took eons and eons. But in the end to my agony, the child stopped on the final step and started crying.  If that was not enough, she started climbing down the slide. My heart broke. What was the reason that made the child come down when she was agonizingly close to reaching what she desired? In life, similar to the little girl many of us would have stood on the hinge of achieving something for the first time but we gave up.

If we retrospect the many moments when we came down like the little girl, the one common reason behind all such moments would be the ‘FEAR’. This fear drowns us in a sea of self-doubts, envelops us with uncertainties and finally poses disturbing questions – What will be the outcome? Will it be worth the effort? Do I really have the ability? Will the world laugh at my mistakes? What will be the repercussions if I fail? Fear does strange things to human beings. But one has to remember that there is a threshold for everything in life and one cannot remain a slave to this fear lifelong. The first and the only thing which one has to do to break the shackles of fear is ‘ACT’.  Instead of overloading one’s mind with overflowing fears, one should step into the line of fire and act according to the situation, in short take the bull by its horns! Success or failure is anyway going to be a part and parcel of the deal. So worrying about the outcome even before trying is a cardinal sin.

Trying something gives us an invaluable experience and the fuel to move on. We may succeed or fail in the attempt, but at least there is learning when we try and this learning would help us approach things for the better. These actions we undertake set forth a thought process; the thought process gives us a valuable experience which in turn is useful when we embark on a new exploration. As a bonus of the act-think-experience cycle, one overcomes the fear of approaching new things slowly even without one’s knowledge and along the way would surely realize and device one’s own method towards exploring the unexplored.

When we draw parallels with Toastmasters about trying something new, every speech, every role and every leadership activity which one takes up is a new path towards reaching the same destination of becoming a fearless public speaker. In fact the joy doubles when one dons the same role for the second time and still manages to do it differently from his/her first attempt. Mistakes, failures and other shortcomings are going to happen along the journey. For example, one of your speeches may have hit the bull’s eye with the audience and another might not have reached the level as you expected. You may feel low on confidence to take up the next speech but viewing every speech as an attempt towards experimenting and expanding your boundaries would help you overcome such phases and make you understand your strengths and weakness. After all one learns with every speech given, every role enacted and every leadership activity led from the front.

Last but not the least; be eager, energetic and enthusiastic in each and every new activity you take up. Fears and failures are not to fret upon. March ahead and remember that behind every fear there is success waiting to hug you. Over come the fear and hug the success. I know the little girl who I saw in the park will one day break those shackles of fear and will hug success.

Keep Exploring! Keep Enjoying! Keep Evolving!

(This article was published in District 82 Toastmasters Annual Magazine – Ovations 2010.. This was one of the my very early articles)

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Comments
  1. Als says:

    🙂 Good one Krish. Very motivating….
    Do you remember how I feared escalators even after college? I remember the day I went ahead and tried them on my own and succeeded… Still, I am cautious about every first step on an escalator but I know I will make it to the top 🙂 Recently conquered my fear of electric trains too!!!

  2. krishnan says:

    Thanks Alphi.. 🙂
    Ha ha.. That escalator thing is so vivid.. glad you tried it on your own…
    Electric trains too huh.. 🙂
    Keep conquering those fears.. way to go!!!

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